


iron

by writingdice



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, M/M, Prostitution, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-13 04:51:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16885953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingdice/pseuds/writingdice
Summary: Stan hurting. Stan fighting. Stan surviving.





	iron

He gets hurt a lot when he’s outside playing with Ford. Because he doesn’t pay as much as attention as he should and other kids can be cruel.

Ford makes a habit to carry around his pockets band-aids and bandages. Ford kisses his bruises and sings old songs that parents sing for their children when they get hurt. Ford kisses his forehead and assures him that he’ll be alright.

* * *

He sits still in the corner of their room, he’s suffocating, he can’t breathe but he dares not take more than shallow breaths. Maybe if he doesn’t move he will leave, maybe if he doesn’t move, not even an inch…

But he is mistaken, and as his cries and pleads leave his mouth, his father strikes him once more and sneers.

“Real men don’t cry”, Filbrick’s voice is indifferent, “I do it to toughen you up, Stanley. Because you’re weak, an utter embarrassment to this family”

And then he leaves his twelve year old son hurting, trying and failing to stop crying. Feeling ashamed because he’s not a real man and he can’t be as strong as his father wants him to be.

* * *

He boxes and fights like hell but he’s never cruel. He knows first hand where not to punch too hard and where the bruises will heal faster.

He boxes and fights like he belongs in the fight, like he never leaves the ring. And in a certain way, he does, but outside he never stands a chance against  _him_. He can’t. No matter how badly he wants to just defend himself, the moment he sees his father, he just lowers his head.

* * *

Stanford is soft with him. 

Ford doesn’t yell at him like their father does, Ford doesn’t hit him like their father does.

He doesn’t…

Ford is patient. Ford is loving.

He really is…

Ford would never side with… that monster. Ford would never let him throw him out. Ford would never let him starve and live in the streets.

He wouldn’t…

* * *

“Give me all the cash in the register”, he yells as he points a gun. The guy in the register doesn’t look older than him, in fact, he’s younger than him… and Stan’s only 20 years old.

In his mind he apologizes to the kid, for doing this to him, but nobody said life was easy in the streets, and no one said that it couldn’t be cruel to the young and vulnerable.

The kid’s shaking real bad and he might start crying any minute now. He hands Stan all the money and drops to the ground with his hands up.

Stan runs and drives away, clenching his teeth and pushing down the guilt he felt.

* * *

Soft and warm flesh, bruised and broken, blood pooling in his mouth. He smiles and punches blindly, seeking not to win but to hurt someone else.

His fists make contact with the other man’s jaw, and knocks him out. Even if he leaves the ring with a great amount of cash, he can’t help but feel disappointed. He wanted to hurt more.

* * *

He’s bleeding from more than one place, of that he’s sure. He walks slowly out of the alley, trying to keep together his torn clothes and keeping pressure on the knife wound on his stomach.

He cries out and hisses as blood slips between his fingers. He thinks that maybe this is how he dies. Humilliated, bruised, broken… used.

He barely survives that night. He’s lucky some other prostitutes were kind and brave enough to drive him to a hospital.

* * *

Stan hasn’t cried while driving since the day he got thrown out.

He had left Jimmy, like he’d want for a long time. He knew it was the right choice.

But he still felt guilty. He had just up and left without leaving a note, Jimmy would be pissed… The guilt and fear burned him from the inside and he felt like he was gonna puke any second.

“Maybe if I go back now he won’t get that mad”, he thought as he crossed the state line, “maybe if I go back now Jimmy will forgive me for doing this. Maybe if I go back he’ll change, he’ll be good to me again”

But Stan kept on driving.

* * *

Stan remembers their first time. They’d been only seventeen; foolish teenagers messing around, doing things because they could and didn’t stop to think about morals or consequences.

Their first kiss could not be considered romantic. It’d been awkward and rushed. They’ve gotten better as they kissed more.

Their first time, however…

They had been exhausted from working on the Stan O’ War all day, but they hadn’t want to go home yet, so they decided to just lay down in the Stanley Mobile.

The radio playing classic rock, Elvis Presley softly singing and Ford teasing Stan on his taste on music while kissing and biting his neck.

Stan moaning and thrusting his hips in Ford’s left hand while it pumped him lazily. Ford stretching and then entering him, panting in his ear and praising him, telling him how wonderful he feels and how beautiful he looks.

Slow and sweet like nothing in his life had ever been…

He laughed bitterly at the memory. The burning in his back reminding him what he had done, what he couldn’t change now…

But that he  **would**  fix.

* * *

Stanford comes out of the portal.

“Brother!”, he says outloud with a visible smile on his face, and it feels real, it feels genuine.

A punch in the face. He works his ass off, he fights, he struggles, he bleeds and cries; everything just to try and fix his mistakes. And all he gets from his brother is a punch in the face and a bitter conversation.

Old wounds open, old pain resurfaces.

It’s too much. More pain can’t numb him now. More pain would only tear him apart.

He wants and he yearns, but he can’t keep wanting what he can’t have. What he mustn’t have.

Stanley enters his bedroom and locks the door behind him.

* * *

The world ends… or quite possibly, only Gravity Falls ends. Either way, Stan’s in the middle of it and he can’t find his family.

Ford and Dipper are possibly together, trying to find a way to reverse everything back to normal. Mabel, he’s so concerned about her, he really hopes she’s either with Soos or Wendy, they could keep her safe.

He sticks with his ragtag bunch of misfits and hopes with all his heart that they are safe and well.

But, well, Stan wasn’t always the most optimist of people. Or maybe he was, a long time ago.

* * *

They come back. Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and Wendy. “ _They are alive!”,_ his mind cries as he drops the bat and hugs them with all his strength.

* * *

A demon named Bill Cipher is the responsible for Ford’s suffering, made him think he was his friend and used him; he grinds his teeth as he remembers a long list of people who did the same to him. 

Bill Cipher took his grandniece and locked her in a bubble, used her when she was vulnerable; his knuckles become white as he thinks about her crying and remembers how much he loves her.

Bill Cipher terrorized his grandnephew, made him feel weak, like he couldn’t trust anyone, made him live through things a boy his age would never have to deal with; he shouts and starts punching the monsters around him as he remembers someone who did the same to him, someone he excused and did not place a single blame on for all the wrongs he did to him.

He boxes and fights like he belongs in the fight, like he never left the ring.

He snarls and growls, his teeth are bared and bloody, he might as well be more of an animal than a man. But he doesn’t care.

He holds his ground with his fists up and ready for more.


End file.
